Should I quit college – feeling overwhelmed?
May 16th, 2013
I haven't been in a classroom for over ten years and have just started university part time as a mature student. I love to write and felt so excited to begin something new and to look at the future possibilities of a degree. Now it's the second week and I'm feeling very depressed - literally ( I am recovering from chronic anxiety and depression.)I feel so overwhelmed with things to read/remember and essays I still don't understand even though the tutors have explained them to me privately. Also i'm going interstate in a few weeks (big trip of a lifetime planned last year) and i know that needs to be a focus because it's a semi work trip so I'm organizing details for that too. My joy at that though is being sapped by this other stuff eg essays due BEFORE i leave.I spent all night crying because I can't really sit still to even concentrate on reading a textbook so I feel like a complete failure. My brain just won't absorb the info.I have zero family either so I'm doing this and life in general completely and utterly, alone which is adding to the stress.I spent all lecture today feeling nauseous and trying not to leave and cry because i just don't know if i should pull out/ defer uni or push through it. I'm scared if i keep pushing though I'll have a depression relapse (it's happened before). I know if i pull out of it though, my stress will vanish and I'll be focused on this trip away (which i need to be focused for because it's semi work related).I just want to achieve my dreams and i thought university would help but I'm tired of my brain doing weird things and 'freezing up' when I have any big stressors. It's like it just shuts down and wont 'work'.I don't know, if my brain wont let me achieve something eg uni, career etc then I wonder why in Gods name am i on this planet? Have i just taken on too much at once and need to defer or may be university isn't for me?Please, any advice very appreciated, thanku in advance.
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