Should I quit college – feeling overwhelmed?

I haven't been in a classroom for over ten years and have just started university part time as a mature student. I love to write and felt so excited to begin something new and to look at the future possibilities of a degree. Now it's the second week and I'm feeling very depressed - literally ( I am recovering from chronic anxiety and depression.)I feel so overwhelmed with things to read/remember and essays I still don't understand even though the tutors have explained them to me privately. Also i'm going interstate in a few weeks (big trip of a lifetime planned last year) and i know that needs to be a focus because it's a semi work trip so I'm organizing details for that too. My joy at that though is being sapped by this other stuff eg essays due BEFORE i leave.I spent all night crying because I can't really sit still to even concentrate on reading a textbook so I feel like a complete failure. My brain just won't absorb the info.I have zero family either so I'm doing this and life in general completely and utterly, alone which is adding to the stress.I spent all lecture today feeling nauseous and trying not to leave and cry because i just don't know if i should pull out/ defer uni or push through it. I'm scared if i keep pushing though I'll have a depression relapse (it's happened before). I know if i pull out of it though, my stress will vanish and I'll be focused on this trip away (which i need to be focused for because it's semi work related).I just want to achieve my dreams and i thought university would help but I'm tired of my brain doing weird things and 'freezing up' when I have any big stressors. It's like it just shuts down and wont 'work'.I don't know, if my brain wont let me achieve something eg uni, career etc then I wonder why in Gods name am i on this planet? Have i just taken on too much at once and need to defer or may be university isn't for me?Please, any advice very appreciated, thanku in advance.

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2 Responses to “Should I quit college – feeling overwhelmed?”

  1. gubenco says:

    You did take on quite a challenge going back to school after being out of school for over ten years. Just wade through one project at a time. At night before you go to sleep send your brain an auto suggestion, I feel calm and will wake up in the morning totally relaxed and ready for school. Repeat this every night. Read your textbooks with lots of good reading light. Stay away from sugar. This sounds like panic attacks caused from stress. You must take control. Don’t drink coffee. Drink green tea. It is uplifting without jolts that you can get from coffee. You’re not alone in your depressed state. School has always been a challenge. Too much homework, etc. Do the best you can and that’s all that matters.

  2. breadless says:

    Is there any way that you can take a medical leave? Many colleges and universities offer this–perhaps you need time to re-evaluate what you want in life. I do not know the reasons for you beginning college so late, but it is it possible that you don’t understand the material because you have some sort of learning disorder? (Dyslexia, etc). I would make an appointment with a psychologist as soon as possible, in any instance, because you sound like you are in a bad way. It does not sound like school is where you should be at this particular moment, but I don’t see any reason for you to give up on your dreams. You said you like to write–what career have you chosen for yourself? There’s a possibility you might find something that does not require the degree you are going for. And there are several things you can do without a degree from a university. This is not an all or nothing situation. I am sorry that you have no family to support you through this situation, but for now you really need to focus on you being healthy. And whatever shape that might take.